Idiots and Dictionaries Just Don't Add Up
by MidniteCurse4Eternity
Summary: Team 7 gets the week off and Naruto is bored. He finds a dictionary and starts using it. Uh oh! This can't end well. After all, idiots plus dictionaries equals trouble.
1. The Abandoned Note

**Edit 6/04/12 – **I just wanted to make it better, no major changes, just changing the words around. I might continue it soon. (:

**Author's note:** I got this idea from reading fanfiction and the dictionary. Don't ask why...

Here's the drill: Read it and enjoy or press the pretty red "x" in the upper right-hand corner or Alt+F4.

**And now for the pretty gray line!**

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It was a nice sunny day—a nice _hot_ summer day—and Naruto was bored. After all, Team 7 was given the week off and he had nothing to do. He ran around the house watching movies and laying around doing nothing. The boredom finally got to him as he plopped down on his rug beneath the bookcase. Looking at the brown wood, he frowned as he noticed the books. _Who the heck gave him books? _Then he did the most dreaded thing he could ever do, he reached for the books.

Two hours passed and he finished reading the only books he owned, which was just three. Well he didn't actually read it, more like looking at the pictures. As he stood up, being the clumsy person as he was, he hit his head on the shelf.

BAM

"Oww!"

SLAM

"Hey what's this?" He picked up the rather large book that had hit his head the second time around. He had never seen such a big book before; being the idiot that he was. On the cover was the title, "Merriam-Webster's Dictionary". He had no idea what it was, so he opened it—not knowing the consequences—and started to read.

After he finished reading the first page, "…I never knew there were so many words." He continued on to the next page.

* * *

**abroad** _adv _(1) to or in another country

**abrupt** _adj _(1) sudden and unexpec-

* * *

He froze as the words sunk into his head. It reminded him of something or someone.

_'But who could it be? Who? __Sakura? NO! Lee? Heck no! Anko? Yeah! It reminds me of Anko.'_

He smiled evilly, his eyes gleaming with mischievousness. _'This is going to be fun!'_

He scurried to his room, looking for his orange laptop. When he found it, he turned it on, opening Microsoft Word. He was going to write about—_how many letters are there in the alphabet again? _He was going to write about 26 people using the dictionary words, well most of them anyways, and speak his mind about what he really thought of them. He was so busy, his shinobi training missed the note lying inconspicuously on the floor.

It said:

_Naruto,_

_Team 7 will be meeting at the training grounds in four days. You better be there. It will be testing our teamwork. Don't be late as the results would have the whole team staying at the training grounds until every member is present, in the burning light of the sun. The point of this meeting is to see if you are willingly to give up your break for the team. Or if you even remember in this heat. Remember, I lied. Break is only for four days. Not a week. _

_-Kakashi-sensei_

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**There you have it! I hope it didn't suck. Uh please review so that I know it doesn't suck. But you don't have to if you don't want to. I'll try to make the next chapter better. Even if no one reads it.**

**OMG! I am obsessed with Avartar: The Last Airbender! **

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Next chapter: Anko

Abrupt

(Now where's that dictionary)

sudden and unexpected

(Aha I found it)

**A**nko is really abrupt. Yup that describes her. Sudden and unexpected. Like that one time when she licked the **b**lood off my **c**heek after she threw the kunai at me. It happened in the Forest of**D**eath. I mean here there was this purple-haired lady that out of nowhere pops out. How strange is that? And then she says we will die in there. **E**verything happens for a reason. Like when Anko heard that Orochimaru was here in Konoha, she **f**reaked out. She must have been pretty attached to him. I mean look at their interests in snakes.

To be continued...


	2. Anko

Note: Here is Naruto's view on Anko. Hope you like it. Like always i don't own Naruto.

Here's the drill: **Enjoy or press the red "x" on the upper right-hand corner or Alt+F4**

_words -_Naruto's thoughts

words -Naruto typing

"words"- people talking

And now the pretty gray line!!

Oh yeah...this is written in Naruto's POV...

* * *

_xX_**Anko**_Xx_

Abrupt

(Now where's that dictionary)

sudden and unexpected

(Aha I found it)

**A**nko is reallyabrupt. Yup that describes her. Sudden and unexpected. Like that one time when she licked the **b**lood off my **c**heek after she threw the kunai at me. It happened in the Forest of **D**eath. I mean here there was this purple-haired lady that out of nowhere pops out. How strange is that? And then she says we will die in there. **E**verything happens for a reason. Like when Anko heard that Orochimaru was here in Konoha, she **f**reaked out. She must have been pretty attached to him. I mean look at their interests in snakes. And he was her sensei after all. And what's up with the whole tongue issue. She is always licking things. My cheek; her kunai; anything. Is Orochimaru her idol or something? Is her **g**oal to be like Orochimaru? The next thing you know she will be copying his **h**air style. But how does his hair get that way. **I**t's so shiny and straight. But not like Neji's hair; his hair is so soft and silky—not that I know or anything. I was really **j**oking around.

* * *

_Oh my god! How could I write that?_

_All because of this stupid dream of me and Neji sparring. I mean there we were training and then he falls_ _on—_

_...nevermind, just thinking about it makes me wanna puke._

* * *

And she has this problem of threatening to **k**ill anyone when they piss her off. But if **l**ooks could kill Orochimaru would be already dead in the beginning. That would give **m**any people relief. But people just hate her all the same. I mean she was that traitor's student. In public she says she wants to kill him. But I bet when **n**o **o**ne is around, she secretly hugs a chibi Orochimaru doll. Like a certain bastard. Not that I'm **p**ointing fingers at anyone—Sasuke with his chibi Orochimaru and Itachi doll—I'm just saying.

* * *

_Maybe I should publish this as a book. It would be funny to exploit other people's secrets. But then again they would kill me. Hehe_

_I should stalk everyone I know. Just in case I write something about them. With my clones I'll be done in no time._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_2 hours later..._

_That was tiring. But I got some good dirt on people._

* * *

That was **q**uite unexpected. But then again it's Anko I'm talking about. I can't believe she's with Iruka-sensei. Can it be possible that they're dating? No! She can't do that. She's turn him into a snake loving, tongue-licking, Orochimaru. That would be **r**eally creepy. Anyways, I was walking down the **s**treet when I heard their conversation. It was about dango and dolphins. Iruka-sensei looked about ready **t**o pee in his pants. **U**sually I wouldn't think twice about it. But then I saw her hair. It was **v**ery disburbing. I couldn't believe that she actually copied Orochimaru's hair. I stood there gaping at them, until she got pissed and threw a kunai at me. This time it hit me in the arm. Do you know what she did? She bid Iruka-sensei goodbye and proceeded to lick my arm. Then when she though I **w**asn't looking, took out a chibi Orochimaru doll and hugged it. As she was leaving, she bumped into Sasuke-teme. He fell down and I just had to laugh. She helped him up and I swear he gave her something. It turned out—to my horror—a Orochimaru poster. I think I am scarred for life. Her house is full of those posters. No wonder Sasuke has so much money. Or is that because he's already rich? If you **x**-ray her, I bet someonewould find Orochimaru stuff all over her. **Y**et, no matter how hard she tries to hide it the villagers will still hate her. After all, she's a crazy psychopathic loner. She shall bow down to me—as of eveyone else—because I am more awesome-er than her. **ZZZZZZZZZZz**

End of document

* * *

_Finally, I finished. It took me 3 hours to finish. I just found out that the dictionary is in alphabetical order. I wished someone would tell me that before hand. Oh crap! When did Anko come in here and why is a Orochimaru doll in my room?_

"Naruto I knew you stole my chibi doll—er I mean my vodoo doll?"

"I didn't mean to. I'm sorry." _She better not see my laptop..._

"Now give it back!"

"Fine."

"Hey is that my name? What are you writing anyways?"

"Noo!" I stand up as I push her away. She looks up. _Oh no she saw..._

"You like Neji ? And he let you touch his hair! He must like you back too. I wanted to touch it first. His hair is almost better than Orochi_—" W_ith that she leaves.

_Great now what?_

What Anko saw: _All because of this stupid dream of me and Neji sparring. I mean there we were training and then he falls_ _on—_

_But not like Neji's hair; his hair is so soft and silky—not that I know or anything._

What she thought she read:_All because of this stupid fight, I fell for Neji when we were training—_

_Neji's hair is so soft and silky._

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**And the rumors begin...This chapter sucks doesn't it? I knew it! Well up next is Chouji. I'm too lazy to type a preview. Um please review? I'm kidding...you don't have to.**


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